Larnfom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, generous horse.

Larnfom created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnfom, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larnfom, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larnfom's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Larnfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Always help aardvarks in need.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.