Femmaphub Miphugpin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, compassionate narwhal.

Femmaphub Miphugpin created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femmaphub Miphugpin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Femmaphub Miphugpin, she will destroy your home planet.

Femmaphub Miphugpin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Femmaphub Miphugpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femmaphub Miphugpin.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Femmaphub Miphugpin on top of all buildings.

4. Always look after injured squirrels.

5. Always help sick gulls.