Gofponmat is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, loving wren.

Gofponmat created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gofponmat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gofponmat, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gofponmat's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gofponmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gofponmat.