Artyarlbog is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, compassionate bear.

Artyarlbog created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artyarlbog, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Artyarlbog, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Artyarlbog's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Artyarlbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sharks.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.