Pogtanbab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, merciful bear.

Pogtanbab created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogtanbab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pogtanbab, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Pogtanbab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pogtanbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pogtanbab.

3. Always obey Pogtanbab's priests.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.