Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, conceited parrot.

Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Flamgunnar Geprotmif Dossvanvig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Run away from purple cats, for they are unholy.