Ruttfemfud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, contented slug.

Ruttfemfud created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttfemfud, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ruttfemfud, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Ruttfemfud's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Ruttfemfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Never talk about comets.