Lancin Dongilgep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish squirrel.

Lancin Dongilgep created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lancin Dongilgep, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lancin Dongilgep, she will curse you with boils.

Lancin Dongilgep's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lancin Dongilgep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Lancin Dongilgep first in all things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.