Flattomzod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless penguin.

Flattomzod created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flattomzod, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flattomzod, she will turn you into a plant.

Flattomzod's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flattomzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always wear blue.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect your elders.