Volmobkip Loopfetfag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered dugong.

Volmobkip Loopfetfag created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volmobkip Loopfetfag, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Volmobkip Loopfetfag, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Volmobkip Loopfetfag's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Volmobkip Loopfetfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Retreat if six moths approach from the west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.