Vigtikfot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest crab.

Vigtikfot created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigtikfot, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vigtikfot, she will turn you into a duck.

Vigtikfot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vigtikfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.