Wapbestmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, generous mole.

Wapbestmeg created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapbestmeg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wapbestmeg, he will throw large rocks at you.

Wapbestmeg's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wapbestmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Never laugh near grasshopers.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always look after injured sheep.