Linstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous porpoise.

Linstaf created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Linstaf, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Linstaf, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Linstaf's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Linstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. You must pray to Linstaf seven times a day.