Dodpangzanveg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, confident walrus.

Dodpangzanveg created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodpangzanveg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dodpangzanveg, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Dodpangzanveg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Dodpangzanveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.