Garspagwegwanwan is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, irritating swallow.

Garspagwegwanwan created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garspagwegwanwan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Garspagwegwanwan, she will turn you into a rock.

Garspagwegwanwan's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Garspagwegwanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.