Nigcumgub is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, happy beaver.

Nigcumgub created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigcumgub, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nigcumgub, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nigcumgub's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nigcumgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never write about asteroids.