Lungupzim Niggutgem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, able monkey.

Lungupzim Niggutgem created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Lungupzim Niggutgem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lungupzim Niggutgem, he will turn you into a snail.

Lungupzim Niggutgem's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Lungupzim Niggutgem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.