Mapbogstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous octopus.

Mapbogstaf created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Mapbogstaf, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mapbogstaf, it will be very unhappy.

Mapbogstaf's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Mapbogstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never mention manatees.