Rawmincum is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering cow.

Rawmincum created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawmincum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rawmincum, he will turn you into a puffin.

Rawmincum's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Rawmincum's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Rawmincum loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rawmincum.

5. You must never eat strawberries.