Dapvadbass is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered wombat.

Dapvadbass created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapvadbass, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dapvadbass, he will turn you into a sheep.

Dapvadbass' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dapvadbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Dapvadbass must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. You must never eat aubergines.