Nartflowrow is a god.

She takes the form of a large, boastful penguin.

Nartflowrow created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartflowrow, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nartflowrow, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nartflowrow's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Nartflowrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

3. Put Nartflowrow first in all things.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Do not covet oxen.