Xemrullistwee is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty shrew.

Xemrullistwee created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemrullistwee, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xemrullistwee, he will turn you into a dog.

Xemrullistwee's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Xemrullistwee's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always help sick ants.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Xemrullistwee on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Xemrullistwee three times a day.