Tettibitsantapkad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic wyvern.

Tettibitsantapkad created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettibitsantapkad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tettibitsantapkad, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tettibitsantapkad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tettibitsantapkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to turtles while wearing purple rings.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.