Lablarnwap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental tapir.

Lablarnwap created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablarnwap, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lablarnwap, he will turn you into a dog.

Lablarnwap's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lablarnwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.