Stafquartripyarpyim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome wolf.

Stafquartripyarpyim created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafquartripyarpyim, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stafquartripyarpyim, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stafquartripyarpyim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Stafquartripyarpyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.