Hanlagfed is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, resourceful lizard.

Hanlagfed created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanlagfed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hanlagfed, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hanlagfed's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hanlagfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always pray immersed in water.