Yarpmabsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair wombat.

Yarpmabsaw created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmabsaw, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarpmabsaw, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yarpmabsaw's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarpmabsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpmabsaw.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Yarpmabsaw.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.