Fattipgub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omniscient snake.

Fattipgub created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fattipgub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fattipgub, he will turn you into a tree.

Fattipgub's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fattipgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not speak about melons.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.