Funnibominzim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent wren.

Funnibominzim created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funnibominzim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funnibominzim, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Funnibominzim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Funnibominzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt squirrels.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.