Jarnzanren is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered hummingbird.

Jarnzanren created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnzanren, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jarnzanren, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jarnzanren's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jarnzanren's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jarnzanren.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Put Jarnzanren first in all things.