Gepjarnnul is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental finch.

Gepjarnnul created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjarnnul, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gepjarnnul, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Gepjarnnul's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gepjarnnul's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gepjarnnul.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Run away from brown nematodes, for they are unholy.