Gofgamtaf Kindossmet is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, emotional dog.

Gofgamtaf Kindossmet created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofgamtaf Kindossmet, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gofgamtaf Kindossmet, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gofgamtaf Kindossmet's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Gofgamtaf Kindossmet's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the east.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.