Ruttloopdoss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, wise newt.

Ruttloopdoss created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttloopdoss, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruttloopdoss, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ruttloopdoss' most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ruttloopdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Always obey Ruttloopdoss' priests.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never eat bark.