Futvonyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, grumpy salamander.

Futvonyarl created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Futvonyarl, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Futvonyarl, he will make you grow a tail.

Futvonyarl's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Futvonyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention capybaras.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Put Futvonyarl first in all things.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.