Gettabkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable naga.

Gettabkab created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gettabkab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gettabkab, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gettabkab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gettabkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Run away if three snakes approach from the east.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gettabkab on top of all buildings.

4. Never run near frogs.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.