Sasbafpod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unjust shark.

Sasbafpod created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasbafpod, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sasbafpod, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sasbafpod's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sasbafpod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.

2. You must love Sasbafpod.

3. Sasbafpod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always treat mites with great respect.

5. Do not make images of living things.