Nelrillnell is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, uncaring gorilla.

Nelrillnell created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelrillnell, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nelrillnell, he will boil you in a big pot.

Nelrillnell's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nelrillnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.