Yartarmarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, emotional hyena.

Yartarmarn created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartarmarn, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yartarmarn, she will destroy your favourite star.

Yartarmarn's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Yartarmarn's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Put Yartarmarn first in all things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never eat parsnips.