Yatgudrig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful pig.

Yatgudrig created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Yatgudrig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yatgudrig, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yatgudrig's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Yatgudrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near geese.

2. Yatgudrig loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yatgudrig.

4. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Always wear white.