Bitren is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, capable coyote.

Bitren created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Bitren, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bitren, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bitren's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bitren's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if four grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.