Spagcarfar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful goblin.

Spagcarfar created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagcarfar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Spagcarfar, she will turn you into a worm.

Spagcarfar's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Spagcarfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never paint your legs turquoise.

5. Respect your elders.