Queegpogwat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing armadillo.

Queegpogwat created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegpogwat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Queegpogwat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Queegpogwat's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Queegpogwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Queegpogwat's name in vain.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. You must never eat bananas.