Ripsanran is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered coyote.

Ripsanran created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripsanran, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ripsanran, he will come to you in dreams.

Ripsanran's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ripsanran's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mention birds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.