Tiprilsandgat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty dugong.

Tiprilsandgat created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiprilsandgat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tiprilsandgat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tiprilsandgat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tiprilsandgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about amino acids.