Quagsterdogbag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured dragonfly.

Quagsterdogbag created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagsterdogbag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quagsterdogbag, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quagsterdogbag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quagsterdogbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about planets.