Zenkemort is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, strong gnu.

Zenkemort created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenkemort, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zenkemort, she will turn you into a dog.

Zenkemort's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zenkemort's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Hide if eight voles approach from the north.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Never feed gooseberries to cats while wearing fawn corsets.

5. Never wear magenta kilts.