Funhogtif is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable guinea pig.

Funhogtif created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Funhogtif, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funhogtif, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Funhogtif's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Funhogtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.