Quartquagben is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witty gerbil.

Quartquagben created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartquagben, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quartquagben, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quartquagben's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quartquagben's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never mention sheep.

5. Never look in ponds.