Kikyakfen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent cow.

Kikyakfen created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikyakfen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikyakfen, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Kikyakfen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kikyakfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Never hurt frogs.

5. Never talk about fire.