Flamtigbab is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-confident bird.

Flamtigbab created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamtigbab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Flamtigbab, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Flamtigbab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flamtigbab's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Never feed cucumbers to capybaras while wearing brown stockings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always take life seriously.